Scatterday I

Due to the recent spate of illegal activities which could impact on the local tourist industry the Ivanhoe District Incorporated Opposing Tourist Scams In NSW Centres (IDIOTS Inc.) have applied to the local council for the introduction of some new ordnances.

.

Ordnance 1

In an attempt to alleviate the visual pollution and health risks posed by IBIS droppings in the inner harbour area it is now illegal for all ibis to fly over inner harbour irrespective of their wearing or not of the iconic yellow raincoat.

Ordnance 2

To prevent the import of inferior ice products which could have a devastating effect on the indigenous icreamery Ivanhoe unions instigated a ban on the unloading of all such products particularly the mango and banana ICECREAMS which are made from local produce.  It has been agreed that these are to remain on their cargo ships until they melt after which they will be unloaded.

Ordnance 3

The local CWA will once again manufacture the iconic ICED VOVO for all truely Australian functions.  Only these accompaniments are allowed for the tradional caffe latte set or the Saturday afternoon barbie.  It is believed that through the application of this ordinance all true Australian men will learn to appreciate a more rounded diet than the usual fare of beer and sangers. 

The iconic yellow raincoat, which is sometimes produced in a more in-style ivory intensity, has been included (although an infringement of the rules of game) due to its importance to our national identity ... and I like it!